Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
literary legends & other luminaries : the lightbulb jokes
( probably a bad idea )
How many Winnie-the-Poohs does it take to change a lightbulb?
We can’t change it, bother, because Christopher Robin says, “Never mind that, let’s go exploring.” So we do.
How many Jimi Hendrixes does it take to change a light bulb?
A thousand: one to finger the socket, nine hundred ninety-nine to trip the light fantastic.
How many Dr. Seusses does it take to change a lightbulb?
There’s one who is perched on the middle-most spot on the back of the sniveling snitch, who sits with his head slumped over the bed, that fills the bright-as-night niche. So that’s one, only one—now wasn’t that fun?
How many Yoko Onos does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five: one to publicize the event, one to paint the bulb black, one to climb the ladder and install it, one to sit and scream, and one to capture it all on camera.
How many James Joyces does it take to change a lightbulb?
Several, and it takes us 24 hours, rambling and wondering as we do the whole time yes we do yes yes yes.
How many Edgar Allan Poes does it take to change a light bulb?
None—he prefers the dark.
How many Mark Twains does it take to change a lightbulb?
A lightbulb is one of those useful inventions that requires little maintenance, a lot of appreciation, and one individual to replace when necessary. I am that individual, when it comes to the appreciation.
How many Charles Dickenses does it take to change a lightbulb?
It was time to remove the old bulb, it was time to install the new. It was the age of the incandescent phase-out, it was the age of the CFL. There was one Dickens who protested, there was one Dickens who approved. It was the latter who changed the bulb, the latter who looked to the light, the latter who was going direct to Heaven. The former was going direct the other way.
How many Pablo Picassos does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. Or is it two? It’s hard to tell by the face… But however many there are, the bulb is crooked.
How many William Shakespeares does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three—let us count them: one to set the stage, one to proclaim the plight, the same to tell its history, and one to restore the light.
How many Michaelangelos does it take to change a lightbulb?
A crew of them to construct the scaffolding, one to change the bulb, and one to paint the origin of light across the ceiling.
© 2012 Troy Howell
How many Winnie-the-Poohs does it take to change a lightbulb?
We can’t change it, bother, because Christopher Robin says, “Never mind that, let’s go exploring.” So we do.
How many Jimi Hendrixes does it take to change a light bulb?
A thousand: one to finger the socket, nine hundred ninety-nine to trip the light fantastic.
How many Dr. Seusses does it take to change a lightbulb?
There’s one who is perched on the middle-most spot on the back of the sniveling snitch, who sits with his head slumped over the bed, that fills the bright-as-night niche. So that’s one, only one—now wasn’t that fun?
How many Yoko Onos does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five: one to publicize the event, one to paint the bulb black, one to climb the ladder and install it, one to sit and scream, and one to capture it all on camera.
How many James Joyces does it take to change a lightbulb?
Several, and it takes us 24 hours, rambling and wondering as we do the whole time yes we do yes yes yes.
How many Edgar Allan Poes does it take to change a light bulb?
None—he prefers the dark.
How many Mark Twains does it take to change a lightbulb?
A lightbulb is one of those useful inventions that requires little maintenance, a lot of appreciation, and one individual to replace when necessary. I am that individual, when it comes to the appreciation.
How many Charles Dickenses does it take to change a lightbulb?
It was time to remove the old bulb, it was time to install the new. It was the age of the incandescent phase-out, it was the age of the CFL. There was one Dickens who protested, there was one Dickens who approved. It was the latter who changed the bulb, the latter who looked to the light, the latter who was going direct to Heaven. The former was going direct the other way.
How many Pablo Picassos does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. Or is it two? It’s hard to tell by the face… But however many there are, the bulb is crooked.
How many William Shakespeares does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three—let us count them: one to set the stage, one to proclaim the plight, the same to tell its history, and one to restore the light.
How many Michaelangelos does it take to change a lightbulb?
A crew of them to construct the scaffolding, one to change the bulb, and one to paint the origin of light across the ceiling.
© 2012 Troy Howell
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